Ten years ago today, I did something terrifying. I published my first novel. My life has never been the same, though a first before that—the publication of my first poetry collection—let me touch this life.
When I was a teenage girl, I turned to poetry to make sense of my complicated emotions. It was only natural to write my first novel about a woman who was scared to share her poetry with the world.
It’s no secret I am the kind of writer whose real life, heart, and soul seep into every character I bring to life on the page. Sera’s journey was about more than writer’s block, a public breakup, and her attraction to a man seven years younger than her. It was about childhood abuse that made her feel unworthy, unlovable.
Writing is my therapy (though I have been to therapy and nothing can replace the real thing), and I can’t imagine my life without it.
Sera and Chase have my heart and forever will. Their story is one I wanted to read, one I was having trouble finding. I have never been the kind who desires to save a man, and instead gravitate toward stories where the woman is the one who feels fractured and too much in the eyes of the world. I yearn for stories with men who practice quiet devotion, a steady voice, and an open heart willing to let the woman they love crash into them—willing to let the woman they love be messy and vulnerable and real.
He’s vulnerable and I’m a soft cry in the low light of my bedside lamp. He bites my jaw and follows the map of my pulse. He tastes my tears and the pure passion I wrote about but never allowed myself to give into. I let him take control, something I never do. He lets me unravel. He reminds me that I am good.
It doesn’t matter how many stories I write, Burning Muses will always have my soul.
You can read Burning Muses for free everywhere books are sold. I also have a companion poetry collection titled Apus, written in Sera’s voice for Chace, available only in my shop. Pay what you want.
I am not ashamed to admit the tears fell hard and fast when I wrote this post. Thank you for ten beautiful years.
—Jen
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